Reflections on Recovery - Part 2

Hope 

 

I came to believe that

the Power of God can restore me to complete spiritual health.

                        

 

    The second step is to hope that God can restore me to sanity.  King Lamoni’s father in the Book of Mormon said:

    O God, [someone] hath told me that there is a God; and if there is a God, and if thou art God, wilt thou make thyself known unto me, and I will give away all my sins to know thee (Alma 22: 18)

    This Lamanite king had hope.  His prayer was answered.  His hope gave way to faith and then to knowledge, and his life was changed forever.

    The Savior is compassionate.  He wants to bless our lives.  He may not give us what we want, but he always gives us what we need. Like Lamoni's father, we need to have hope that grows into faith in Christ.  Then we can, with confidence, ask for His grace.  The Apostle Paul wrote of grace:

    Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrews 4:16)

    A month or two ago, I taught a Relief Society lesson on the topic of confidence in our ability to ask for God's help and receive it.  When any of us has fallen away from God's light, we don't have any confidence that He will forgive us and bless our lives.  We have somehow convinced ourselves that He is too disappointed in or angry with us to want to help. We don't feel as if we deserve His love and forgiveness.  We run away from the very Person who can heal us.  If you ever feel that the atonement is for everyone else, but not for you, remember this: the Holy Ghost is not the one telling you this!  None of us can do anything to deserve His love.  That is why it is a gift of Grace - He loves us unconditionally.

    I wrote this in my 12-step journal:

    I love this scripture! (Hebrews 4:16)  How confident am I to boldly come to Christ's throne of grace? In my younger adult years I didn't feel confident to do so.  I am a recovering perfectionist and, as such, spent many years feeling that Christ's admonition to be therefore perfect meant to be totally without flaw.  Since that is not humanly possible, I always felt less than worthy.  Perfectionist, by definition, lie to themselves and others to create a façade of perfection where it doesn't exist.  It is an exhausting life to live.  I was one of those who thought the atonement was for everyone else but not for me.  The turning point for me was the day I finally realized that God knows everything I think, say, and do anyway.  Who am I trying to kid by trying to hide my imperfections from Him?

    Today, I am much more confident to lay claim on the atonement and to approach Him with the deepest desires of my heart.  The closer I live to the Spirit, the more faithful I am in keeping the commandments, the more confidence I feel.

    Grace is always available.  It is we who create the distance, not God. Narrow the distance through Hope in Christ's compassion and forgiveness. God can do (and has done) more with my life than I can. 

 

Reflections on Recovery, part 1

I have been attending 12-Step meetings with a friend.  I had thought to wait in the waiting room for him, but he asked if I would come in to the meeting.  I am so glad he did.  The meetings are spiritually uplifting and draw my thoughts, feelings, and behavior closer to God.  I believe everyone should study and work the 12 Steps. 

The book I recommend is the Addiction Recovery Program published by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints because it specifically acknowledges that Jesus Christ is the higher power.  Only He, through His infinite grace and atonement, has the power to save us.  We all need saving, even though our broken parts may not be as obvious as those of an addict.

In the workbook I mention, there are scriptural references and places to journal any thoughts or feeling presented by the Spirit.  Here are a few of my notes:

Step 1: Admit that your life has become unmanageable and that you, by yourself, cannot do it alone. *

• I have lately felt encompassed about by many in my community who feel it is their right-nay-responsibility to judge me.  This is usually expressed in gossip and rumor-mongering.  These often well-meaning people don't understand me at all.  The gossiping is never well-meaning, even if the person prefaces it with "I'm worried about . . . "  It is still gossip. 
• I am hanging on to my faith in Christ and His teachings in Matthew 25:34-45.  I am through trying to explain myself.  As Dr. Seuss said, "Those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind."
• I do put my trust in my Savior.  The hardest part for me is being patient in tribulation and recognizing that God's time is not my time.  Has he not come through with miracles?  Yes, and He will again. I cling to the remembrance of God's tender mercies.
• I am feeling very humbled these days as I have faced adversity.  If I didn't have Christ and my testimony of Him and the companionship of the Holy Spirit, I would be nothing.  I know that I am of infinite worth to Him, while yet in a fallen world.  I attempt daily to stay close to my Savior and learn from His example.  He was often berated for supping with sinners. Even though I know I am nothing compared to Him, I am loved by Him unconditionally.  Therefore, I refuse to be depressed or dejected.  I will stand tall in the light of God's love in, for, and through me.
• One of my favorite scriptures illustrating the relationship of God to His human children.  It is found in the Psalms: When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained;
  What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him?  For thou hast made him a little lower than the angels, and hast crowned him with glory and honour. (Psalm 8: 3-5)   Or as Moses said after talking to God face to face and seeing all His creations, "Now for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed." (Moses 1:10)

These are just of few of the things I wrote in my journal during the First Step meeting.  Thanks for allowing me to be frank.

* I have adapted the steps to a more generic form that speaks to anyone who ever feels that his/her life has become unmanageable, even if it is only temporary.

Copyright April 12, 2015 by Gebara Education

Hope

There, hidden away in your chaotic mind, singing the sweet tune of relief in your ears, is hope....

 She is a fine lady, and, she indeed is a lady.

 

From her births we rise from our own ashes and tend to wounds of the past.

She is most willing, but the sad truth is, sometimes we are not.

Embrace her emotion with love. 

Hope can guide you if you love her and let her in.

Caite Marie Buntin
Used by permission
April 2015