The Family ~ Communication ~ Then to be Understood

Dr. Covey's Habit has two parts.  Last week we talked about the first part:  Seek first to understand.  This week we will talk about the second part: Then to be understood.  Communication is all about understanding.  I can talk and you can listen, but that doesn't mean we understand one another.  Good communications listen with heart and head.  Good communicators also speak with clarity.

Good speakers send messages which are:

• Clear ~ They say what they mean and they mean what they say.  They choose words that they know their listener is most likely to understand. 

They don't obfuscate the implications with obscure idioms. Translation: They don't confuse the message with big or imprecise words.  Practical application: Don't talk to your five year old like he was fifteen nor your fifteen year old as if he was five and don't talk to your husband as if he were your child!  Don't use a 25 cent word when a 5 cent word will do.

• Concise ~ They say what they want to say without a lot of unnecessary information to confuse their listeners.  Their messages are short and to the point. 

Verbatim understanding in most people is about two simple declarative sentences.  Then the listener needs to process what he's heard before hearing more. If you have something important to say, state the most important parts of your message first, and then give your listener time to think or respond.

• Complete ~ While they don't say a lot of unimportant words, they also don't leave out things which are important.  Good speakers understand that other people can't read minds. 

Do you remember a math teacher who stood at the chalkboard doing what he did best, all the while droning on and on and assuming his freshman class was getting it all?  Don't speak to others assuming that because you know what you mean, they will! Check for understanding frequently. If the other person looks confused, you might even say, "You look confused.  Can I help?"  Remember: If your listener doesn't understand what you said, then you haven't communicated, no matter how good you might feel about it.

Whenever you talk about things which are important remember that communication is about more than talking and hearing: it is about understanding.

Text © 2012 Gebara Education