Family ~ Lots of Ways to Look @ It

 

There are many ways to evaluate possible choices besides the Pros/Cons/and Consequences. Let's imagine for a moment that your family has brainstormed ideas for a family activity during the kids' Christmas break from school. You have a long list of things you could do, including a trip to Disneyland. Here are some techniques suggested by Johnson and Johnson*:

 

·    Sorting and categorizing ~ deciding on some sort of method to organize the ideas, then putting the ideas into logical categories. In the example above, your categories could be Ideas which require money and Ideas which do not require money.

·    Prioritizing ~ listing the ideas in the order of their importance, with the most important things first (i.e., time spent together as a family.) In the example above, if your plans require money, the ideas which help the family raise the money might be most important. Everyone will appreciate the activity more if each person helps make it happen.

·    Evaluating and Eliminating ~ placing a value on each idea and getting rid of those ideas that won't work. For example, if the idea requires a lot of money and the family doesn't have that money available without going into debt, the idea should probably be eliminated.

When our children were young, Carmon and I created a "Children's Day" on the first Saturday each August. We'd write letters to each child telling him or her those positive things we'd noticed that year and how special and unique that child was in our family. I'd bake a cake with a candle for each child and we'd give each child a small gift. We set a price limit of $5 so the gifts were thoughtful, but not extravagant. Then we let the children work together as a committee of four to decide what to do that day.

 

At first we were fearful that they would want impossible things, but in all the years we celebrated Children's Day, that never happened. The things they planned were always economical and lots of fun. It was fun to watch them doing their planning. They did all of the above things without ever having been consciously taught. They were - and are - some pretty amazing kids.

 

You, too, will be amazed at the things your children can do when you empower their choices within a framework you and your spouse have created. Even discussions on family rules and responsibilities can bring wonderful results when children have a voice in the decisions.

 

* Evaluation guidelines adapted from Joining Together by David and Frank Johnson, Prentice Hall, Inc, 1982.

 

Text © 2012 Gebara Education

Picture of Disneyland from www.wallpapersspaperss.com