One of my grandsons said recently that revenge is a hot coal you pick up to throw at someone else: you are the one who gets burned. I don't know where he heard that, but I believe it to be true. I have, over many years as a counselor, worked with too many people whose lives are driven by the cankering desire for revenge. It may hurt the person to whom it is directed, but the damage it does to the heart and soul of the one driven by it is incalculable.   .   .   .   To forgive, a wise person said, is to free a prisoner and to know the prisoner is you.   .   .   .   I think Mark Twain said it most poetically: "Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it."   .   .   .   We each can decide.  For me, I prefer to be a violet and not a bearer of hot coals.