Step 5: Admitted to God, to our-selves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

Confession.  So embarrassing.  So painful.  So difficult.  So necessary.

All of us have done things of which we are ashamed.  Even when we have accepted that God was at the window and we've confessed to Him, it is oh, so difficult to bring ourselves to tell another living soul the things we have done.  But it is vital for several reasons:

• Sharing our personal inventories with another person removes some of the isolation we have experienced up to this point.
• Sharing these things we have done is one of the most humbling experiences we've yet undergone.  Since pride is at the root of our addictions, we must get pride out of the way to be completely healed.
• Recovering addicts claim that we are more likely to relapse if we try to take the easy way out by keeping some of our most embarrassing faults hidden.

The book, A Hunger for Healing,  offers this explanation of the need for confession:  "Some people seek an easier and softer way by doing a "general confession" to God alone. They are not about to name specifically the humiliating, "awful" things they have done out loud before another human being. But this act of specifically confessing things is what often leads to serenity. The more afraid you are to tell about a certain act or thought in your Fifth Step, the more likely it is that confessing that particular thing will put a new crack in your denial and free you in a new area. There doesn't seem to be an easier, softer way, and people who seek one apparently don't understand the tenacious and tricky nature of this spiritual disease we are facing. Step Five is to help us see, to grasp, to understand specifically how the disease has permeated our lives in ways we usually cannot see any other way." [1]   

Choose your confidant wisely.  Another AA book puts it this way: "...Because these areas are so sensitive and so very personal, it is important to exercise care in choosing the person or persons with whom we formally share our fifth step. Such individuals should be trustworthy and somewhat detached from the situations about which we will share. For example, one would not usually call on a spouse or immediate family member to hear this confession. In fact, it is quite common to choose a therapist or pastoral counselor for this purpose. Also, such individuals should be compassionate, not condemning." [2]

One thing I want to point out is this:  you tell one person.  You don't have to tell everyone.  Some people feel a need to confess over and over to anyone who will listen.  That is not the purpose of this step. Next week we will talk about the process of seeking forgiveness from those we have hurt, but for now:

• Continue to pray, meditate, ponder the scriptures, and keep your journal.
• Choose your confidant wisely.
• Remember that you are a child of God and He will not let you down, even in this very difficult step.
• There is no shame in repentance; it is only letting go of false pride so that healing and peace can take its place.

[1]  A Hunger for Healing, p. 91-92
[2] Serenity, A Companion for Twelve Step Recovery, p. 45,46

Text © 2012 Gebara Education

Posters downloaded from Facebook