Step 9, con't. ~ Made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.  ~ Forgiving Others

While not addressed directly in step 9, forgiving others is an integral part of seeking forgiveness from others - and from God.  Jesus said, "Judge not, that ye be not judged.  For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete it shall be measured to you again." (Matthew 7:1-2)  Luke tells us He said, "forgive, and ye shall be forgiven." (Luke 6:37)  
 
In the shattered world of addiction, we have hurt others; but we, too, have been hurt.  We may still carry those hurt feelings and animosity as we approach step 9.  We may not be able to approach certain people we've hurt with our apologies because we are still so angry.  That anger is like acid to the soul.  What we need to realize is that the person most poisoned by such venom is not the person who angered us but we ourselves.  We must forgive to be forgiven, but we must also forgive to clean our own souls.

In the Lord's prayer, Jesus prayed that we ask God to "forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors."  He went on to explain: "For if ye forgive men their trespasses, you heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." (Mathew 6: 12. 14-15)

Negative emotions trigger a physiological and psychological response in our bodies, all of them harmful to our physical and mental health, as well as our spiritual well being. Think about this anger and hurt before we have forgiven, and we will notice things like a tense jaw, racing heart, and clenched fists. We don't notice the adrenalin dump, elevation in blood sugar and blood pressures and all of the more than 100 things that happen with strong, negative emotion. After we have forgiven, if we think of this person or events, we can do so without that massive bodily response. That is a way I gauge the degree of my own forgiveness and repentance: if I think of a past event, person, or situation, and I can feel calm and at peace, then I have repented, forgiven, and been forgiven. If I think about something and suddenly feel a surge of negative emotion, I realize there is still a pile of mud on my clean floor and I'd better get busy and deal with it!

Text © 2012 Gebara Education

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