All Saints' Day Eve ~ The Parable of the Pumpkin

How does it feel to have the atonement applied in our lives?

It’s like being a pumpkin.  Jesus Christ lifts us out of our muddy field and brings us in.  He washes all of the dirt off of us.  (This can hurt if he has to use a stiff brush!)

Then He cuts us open so that he can get inside.  This part can really hurt!

Then, He reaches deep inside and scrapes away all of the slimy things inside of our hearts.  He finds and removes seeds of anger, malice, greed, shame, guilt, doubt, fear, and pride.

Then He puts smiles upon our faces and opens our eyes to see and noses to smell and our ears to hear.

Finally, He gives us new hearts and puts His light inside of us. 

It is then up to us to let that light glow inside for all the world to see.  We can carry that light into the darkest paths of our lives and be comforted. Our hearts will be warmed as will the hearts of any who see us.

Therefore, let your light so shine that others may see and glorify your  Father which is in heaven.

The Family ~ Multiply and Replenish

 

The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife.  .  .  . God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.

 

We declare the means by which mortal life is created as divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God's eternal plan. Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. [1]

 

What happened in the Garden of Eden has been misunderstood almost from the day it happened. Had a more thorough understanding of the original Hebrew and God's plan for Adam and Eve been had, the history of the world - and certainly the history of women - would have been vastly different.  Here are some points from that story:

• The forbidden fruit was not a euphemism for sexual intercourse (as was taught by the early church after Nicaea).  It was a token by which Adam and Eve became mortal and subject to death.  It was also a necessary step to a mortality which was necessary in order that they might "multiply and replenish."
• Sexual intercourse, in and of itself, is not a dirty and shameful thing.  Rather, it is the means by which human beings can become co-creators with God by creating physical bodies for His spirit children. It was created and sanctioned by God when used with the bounds He defines.
• Sexual intercourse is a powerful, one-flesh experience that must only be used in the bounds of marriage where a long-term commitment between husband and wife assures children borne to father and mother. It is like a river of fire that is safe when contained within the "banks" of matrimony, but destructive when outside the safety of boundaries.
• Eve has for millenia been portrayed as the evil temptress without whom Adam would have been better off!  [2] The original Hebrew indicates that Adam was given life but Eve was given lives. (Eve and the Choice Made in Eden, Beverly Campbell) The power to pass on human life lies with the mitochondrial DNA of Eve's body and is passed on through women to this day.  Men and women have unique, but equal, responsibilities to one another as marriage partners and to the children they bring into the world.

What does that mean to me?  It means that Adam and Eve understood from the beginning what their ultimate role would be.  Genesis tells us that, after the Fall, Adam "knew his wife," which says to me that they were married by God in the Garden before being sent out into the world.  As a married couple, they had children.  The Bible mentions only 3 by name, but we know there were many others.  Adam and Eve fed and clothed and housed their children.  The taught their children about God and about covenants with Him, such as that of building an altar and offering sacrifice.  They taught them right from wrong.  Just because some of Adam's children chose not to follow those teachings (notably, Cain) doesn't mean that the parents didn't teach them.

 

This says to me that when I brought my children into this world, it was my obligation to feed and cloth and house them.  It was my responsibility to love and care for them.  It was my responsibility to teach them about God and about right from wrong.  Just because my husband died young and left me a single parent, my dedication to my children did not go away.  If anything, it became stronger because I was all that they had.

Our children are not "accidents" of birth, whether we planned for them or not. They are God's spiritual children and we have a stewardship, once we have provided their physical bodies, to take care of them in love and faith. They are separate and unique individuals from the moment of their conception, with an unfolding potential that we must nurture and guide.  They are a truly a blessing.  

Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.  As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.  Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them . . .  (Psalm 127: 3-5)

 

[1] The Family: A Proclamation to the World

 

[2] An interesting interpretation of the Genesis story, read the following blog by Rabbi Manis Friedman. According to him, Eve understood the choice and helped Adam to understand it. www.huffingtonpost.com/rabbi-manis-friedman/new-twist-old-story_b_2017349.html

The Family: A Proclamation to the World © 1995 by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

Additional text © 2012 Gebara Education

Picture of Adam and Eve and their children from www.lds.org

Picture of children from www.arthritis.org

The Family ~ A Proclamation to the World

With a cornerstone of a Christ-centered life and the foundation of a Christ-centered marriage, we can begin to talk about building the family.  It is not difficult to recognize that with this cornerstone and foundation in place, the family we build will also be Christ-centered. 

 
Over the years I have taught family and parenting classes in a variety of settings.  I've been tutored by some remarkable people such as Bill Oliver of the Parent-to-Parent Program and the late H. Stephen Glenn who created the program Developing Capable Young People.  I've also taught classes for L.D.S. Family Services using their Strengthening Marriage and Strengthening Families materials.  During the next few weeks, I will be referring to all of these on occasion.
 
But this morning, I'd like to begin by sharing what is to me the finest definition of the family as to both origin and purpose ~ The Family: A Proclamation to the World. [1]  This proclamation was read by L.D.S. Church President Gordon B. Hinckley as part of his message at the General Relief Society Meeting held September 23, 1995, in Salt Lake City, Utah.  I wish to share a few key ideas from the proclamation without comment.  I will expand on these concepts later this week.  You can download a pdf printable version of the entire proclamation at the website listed below.  Many families have framed the Proclamation and have it displayed in their homes, not only as a reminder, but as a mission statement for their individual families.

Selected segments taken from  ~

 

The Family: A Proclamation to the World

 

The First Presidency and Council of the Twelve Apostles  

of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

 

 [M]arriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.

~   ~   ~

 

The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife.  We declare that God's commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force.  We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.

 

We declare the means by which mortal life is created as divinely appointed.  We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God's eternal plan.  Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children

~   ~   ~

 

Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.

 

 The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.

Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.

~   ~   ~

The family is central to the Creator's plan for the eternal destiny of His children.

The living prophets tell us why.

Continue to the Proclamation

[1] http://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation?lang=eng

 

The Family: A Proclamation to the World © 1995 by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

 

Additional text © 2012 Gebara Education

 

Picture of 1800s family from www.utas,edu.au

 

Pictures of 5 modern families from the following sources:

www.detroitfathersandfamiliescoalition.com  

www.123rf.com

www.projectwest.co.uk

www.123rf.com

www.highschoolstuff.com

 

Laid Upon My Heart

Occasionally I am asked to speak to Church and other local groups.  The most recent opportunity was last week.  Each time I speak, as I interact with those present, I feel as if I gain so much.  The men and women I meet are so incredible; they have such strong and valiant spirits.

I have felt unmistakable Spiritual promptings that have led me to this work.  My youngest and his wife would say that God has laid this mission upon my heart.  I love that. I do feel the Lord's hand in the work that I do - through this blog, with my speaking, and with the individual work I do with those who come seeking relief from the pain of a hurting heart.  I don't know what these people need, but the Savior does. 

As I look upon others as if through His eyes, He gives me the love I need and the insights that lead to words of comfort.  Together we apply the balm of the atonement of Jesus Christ: tender mercies for tender hearts.  I always feel its tremendous cleansing power in my own life as a result.

I cannot demean another without demeaning myself.  I feel small and mean and lessened somehow when I let this happen.  However, when I feel compassion and charity; when I apply patience and understanding; I feel lifted up as if on angel's wings.  I - who am rarely at a loss for words - find it difficult to describe this feeling.  I feel the limitations of earthly words.  It makes me want to be more like Him.  It makes me want to reach upward and outward beyond myself.  In the words of the poet Kahlil Gibran: I am a lute strung with strings but I am not the lute player.

 I love the words of the Apostle Paul:

1 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity,   I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.

2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.

3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.

4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.

9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.

10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.

11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.

13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.  (1st Corinthians 13; KJV)

 

Words by which to live.  Words laid upon my heart.

 

Text © 2012 Gebara Education

Picture from www.ptl2010.com

Just Sayin' Saturday ~ Plan(t)ning Ahead

I got all excited last spring when I ordered my vegetable seeds because I got a thank-you coupon for a bogo sale at Henry Fields' nursery for up to $100.00.  I took full advantage of the coupon to order my fall bulbs for the front garden.  I have so much bare space between the roses and I wanted something that would come up in the early spring besides weeds!  The bulbs arrived and I had my friends help me plant them.  They planted over 200 bulbs.  I am so excited for spring!  Here are the flowers we planted:

 

Crocus,  the first flowers of spring right in front



Tulips, 75 bulbs in the middle of the garden



Daffodils, should bloom right behind the crocus



Asiatic lilies, tall /stately at the back of the garden



Allium, a newcomer to my awareness

We planted the bulbs yesterday, and it is a good thing we did.  Today, it has turned quite cold and the wind is blowing dead leaves from golden trees. I built a fire today, the first of many, as fall will give way to winter before I blink twice. It always does.  When I was younger, I didn't plant bulbs.  I wanted already-growing-in-the-pot flowers I could transplant and enjoy immediately.  Now I am willing to spend the money and time months in advance to have a riot of color when the earth is still cold.  Crocuses and daffodils are so optimistic, coming up when there is still snow on the ground.  They are followed by tulips and lilies when spring is well underway.  Then in June, the roses begin to bloom just as the spring flowers begin to fade. And so the seasons go.  And so the seasons go.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.

Ecclesiastes 3:1

 

Picture of balloon and tulips from Facebook

All other pictures from the Henry Fields' online catalogue at www.henryfields.com

 

Working on the Script . . .

I've been working on the script for my church's Christmas pageant.  It's been such fun, but it has taken time that I usually spend on this blog.  I'll be back again tomorrow for Just Sayin' Saturday and on Monday for the next chapter in The Family.

In the meantime, who can remember and finish this:
    

First comes love; then comes marriage; then comes _____ with a    ____  _______!

See you tomorrow!

Picture from www.pccrafter.com

Family ~ Building the Family

 

I had lunch with some friends today.  One of them said, "You are such a teacher!"  We all laughed, but she's right: I am.  So as a teacher, I'm going to do a brief review before we move on building our family.

BUILDING THE FAMILY

The Cornerstone

The individual's relationship with Jesus Christ is the cornerstone to the family.  If you're not right with God, it's hard to be right with anyone else.

The Foundation

The marriage relationship is the foundation upon which the family is built.  The more solid that relationship, the more solid the family.

 Try This Exercise

 

Now I want you to do some work.  Get a piece of paper.  Draw a square or circle in the middle large enough to write "The Ideal Family" in the center.  Then draw lines out from the center in a large web (it doesn't have to be this elaborate!)  On each of these lines write a word that describes something you think is vital to a "perfect family" - words like kindness, communication, accepting, inclusive, forgiveness, long-term commitment, understanding, patience, etc.  Spend some time with this and give it some serious thought.

Now, erase the phrase "The Ideal Family" and write in the word marriage. You have just illustrated a fundamental truth.  The family comes out of the relationship between husband and wife.  Everything you need to have a happy and fulfilling family life is also required in a happy and fulfilling relationship with your spouse. 

Now we are ready to build a family.

Text © 2012 Gebara Education

Picture of apple from www.youcandowhatyoulove.com

Picture of Christ as the cornerstone from www.naturallifemom.com

Picture of 100/100 from www.impressiveexpressiveblogs.com

Picture of Mind Map from www.mindmaps.com

 
*This is an excellent activity to do with adolescents who are of an age when they might conceivably enter into a sexual relationship. They need to see the role that relationship could play in the rest of their lives. We'll talk more about this subject in later weeks when we focus on adolescents.

Family ~ Foundation 8 ~ Joy Comes in the Little Things



This brings me full-circle of the eight lessons on life, love, and marriage.  Here  are the first seven in review:

 

1. God is the best matchmaker. Prayerfully ask Him to guide you.

2. Love is not a feeling you fall into.It is a conscious choice.

3. Marriage is a covenant, not merely a contract. Make the Savior the third party in your covenant marriage.

4. Covenant marriage changes both partners for the better and the resulting whole is greater than the sum total of the two parts.

5. Marriage is not a contest. There is no room for competition. Realize that you will grow and feel happier when you support your spouse’s growth and happiness.

6. Always see your spouse as a beloved son or daughter of God and treat him or her accordingly.

7. Recognize that the Savior knows your potential and your spouse’s potential better than either of you knows your own or your spouses potential. Listen to the Spirit and trust him.

 

I think people experience problems in their marriages when they try to run ahead of God.  I know, because I did just that for too many years.  Here's what we do:

1. We don't asks God's affirmation before entering into our marriages.  We get caught up in the moment and in what we want rather than what God wants and what we need.
2. We think we have "fallen in love" when what we feel is usually a strong physical attraction.  There may be other qualities present, but - let's face it, the "champagne bubbles in my blood" feels good!  Physiologically speaking, those feelings of falling in love disappear after about twelve to eighteen months. (It may come back from time to time, but usually not with that first months' intensity.)  If we are wise, during those honey-months, we will work on the other aspects of the relationship, like being friends.  Then when the rose colored glasses fall away, we will be expecting it.  In fact, it's only when this first blush of physical love is gone that we can begin to experience the real love that keeps marriages together and happy.  If not, we will start running for greener pastures so that we can "fall in love" again with somebody else.
3. Our biggest mistake is leaving Jesus Christ out of our marriages.  With Him, we can withstand anything; without Him, we can withstand little.
4. Marriage partners should try to bring out the best in each other.  When they don't, trouble is sure to follow.
5. Too many couples compete and fight and argue and want to make sure they are getting their share.  Sad.
6. If you don't see each other as children of God with the potential for a Godly relationship, they you will always wonder how much better it could have been.
7. People who sell their spouse short often sell themselves short as well.  Demeaning your spouse demeans you.  These folks don't give each other room to reach for their stars.
   

And that brings me to the final lesson:

 

8. Joy comes in little, everyday miracles. By recognizing with gratitude the countless small miracles in your life, it is possible to experience joy in the most poignant and painful circumstances.

This is a lesson I learned many times in my life, but I'll share only one experience to illustrate.  When Richard first became ill, we both wanted him to live at any cost.  We prayed for a big miracle.  It soon became apparent that a big miracle was not in God’s plan for us.  Rather than becoming bitter or angry with God, I started counting the small miracles.  They came and my cup of joy over-flowed.  One current source of joy is being able to share these thoughts and feelings with you.  Thank you for being a willing reader and look for joy in the little things.

 

Text © 2012 Gebara Education

Picture of joy from www.shadesofgrace.org

Family ~ The Foundation 7 ~ Seeing the Potential

 

 

Recognize that the Savior knows your potential and your spouse’s potential better than either of you knows your own or your spouse’s potential.Listen to the Spirit and trust Him.

 

I don’t think I am out of the ordinary when it comes to being hard on myself. I don’t know where and how we learn it, but somehow we confuse inadequacy for humility. We are content to make little huts of our lives when, I am convinced, the Savior is prepared to create of our lives a temple. I believe it is difficult to love another person as the Savior would have you if you doubt your ability to love yourself.

 

I also think it is not my responsibility to change anyone else and make them into someone I think they should be, anymore than it is their responsibility to do the same to me. This is particularly true in marriage.  When you marry someone, you need to be prepared to love him or her as he or she is. I overheard Richard on the phone one day talking to a friend from San Antonio. Apparently the friend had asked him if I had “fixed” him yet. His reply warmed my heart: he said, “Silly girl seems to love me just the way I am.” 

Richard also loved me just the way I am and he supported me in every endeavor. I remember someone asking President Hinckley how Mormon men treat their women. He said something to the effect that if they are wise, they get out of the way and let the woman become all that she has the potential to become and then marvel at what she can accomplish. I thought you had to be married to a prophet or an apostle to be loved and supported in that way. I now know that regular people can experience that kind of love if they know the secret: God knows your potential because you are His child.

Just as the Savior can give us the love that we need, He can also open our eyes to see our own and our spouses' potentials.  Then you can love without condition, and encourage growth toward that potential one day at a time.

Just a little over a week ago, President Thomas S. Monson spoke to the men and young men in the 182 semi-annual general conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  Here are a few excerpts from his talk.  While he was talking about growth in the Church by "growing" its people, I found it relevant to this discussion on potential.  He said:

We must develop the capacity to see men not as they are at present but as they may become . . . Sometimes letting our brethren know they are needed and valued can help them take that step into commitment and full fellowship[and potential].

 
President Monson concluded with this prayer:
 

I pray that we will have the courage to extend the hand of fellowship, the tenacity to try and try again, and the humility needed to seek guidance from our Father . . .
 

Love others as they are; at the same time, see in them the potential to be more.  Then let the Spirit guide as you encourage.  I want to close today with a favorite poem: 

 

The Touch Of The Master's Hand

by Myra B. Welch

Twas battered and scarred, and the auctioneer
thought it scarcely worth his while
To waste much time on the old violin,
But held it up with a smile.
"What am I bidden, good folks," he cried,
"Who'll start the bidding for me?
A dollar, a dollar, then, two! Only two?
Two dollars, and who'll make it three?
Three dollars, once; three dollars, twice;
Going for three . . ."
But no,
From the room, far back, a grey-haired man
Came forward and picked up the bow;
Then, wiping the dust from the old violin,
And tightening the loose strings,
He played a melody pure and sweet
As a caroling angel sings.

The music ceased, and the auctioneer,
With a voice that was quiet and low, said:
"What am I bid for the old violin?"
And he held it up with the bow.
"A thousand dollars, and who'll make it two?
"Two thousand! And who'll make it three?
"Three thousand, once; three thousand, twice;
And going and gone."said he.

The people cheered, but some of them cried,
"We do not quite understand, what changed its worth?"
Swift came the reply:
"The Touch Of The Master's Hand."

And many a man with life out of tune,
And battered and scarred with sin,
Is auctioned cheap to the thoughtless crowd,
Much like the old violin.
A 'mess of potage,' a glass of wine;
A game - and he travels on.
He is 'going' once, and 'going' twice,
He's 'going' and almost 'gone'.
But the Master comes and the foolish crowd
Never can quite understand
The worth of a soul and the change that's wrought
By the touch of the Master's Hand.

 

Text © 2012 Gebara Education

Picture of hut from www.tavelmongabay.com

Picture of  San Antonio Temple from www.mormontemples.net

Picture of Seeing What God Sees from www.rustyrev.wordpress.com

Picture of Thomas S. Monson from www.ldschurch.org

Picture of violin master and text of poem from www.sapphyr.netlargegemsmahtmster

Picture of old violin from www.wikipedia.com

Picture of Christ's hand lifting another from www.spiritoffire.com