A Little More on Forgiveness

 Matthew tells us the parable of the man who was forgiven of a huge debt by his creditor, then turned around and sent a man who owed him a very small debt to debtors' prison. (see Matthew 18) The scriptures are full of references to the fact that if we want God to forgive us, we must also forgive. Why would the Savior tell us so many times that we must forgive and forgive and forgive - "seventy times seven?" I'm sure He has many reasons that I cannot yet understand, but here are a few that I can:

• We do not know what is in a person's heart as Jesus knows it. Therefore, our judgments are based on a partial and distorted knowledge. We cannot judge a soul that we do not and cannot completely know.
• The Savior's atonement is infinite. It covers everyone's sins and sorrows. We have made the conscious choice to seek His grace. That other person may or may not make that choice during his lifetime, but whether he does or not is between him and Jesus. We have no role in their relationship.
• As we seek to bring our lives and wills to be harmonious with the Will of God, we must clean our hearts, minds, and souls of all the "mud" accumulated during a lifetime of sin. If we hold a grudge - even one - it is like having one really nasty pile of mud on a freshly scrubbed floor and believing that's okay and the floor is really clean.
• When we hold on to our anger, we are not sufficiently humbled before God.
• If we are looking backwards at our pain, we are investing a lot of emotional energy in a past that cannot be changed.  This depletes the energy we should have to move forward into our new future without addiction.
• Having an unforgiving heart is toxic to body, mind, and spirit.

I remember when I was younger hearing that you need to forgive and forget and that if you remember your sin, you have not been forgiven. I have since learned that this is Satan's lie on at least two points. The first is that we don't forget (unless we develop dementia) and that is why we have to forgive - so that we can remember without pain. 

The second is that we remember our sins and their negative consequences so that we don't repeat them. The prophet, Alma, recounted his sins and subsequent repentance on at least three occasions as recorded in scripture. He used his experiences to teach others so that they might not make the mistakes he had made. The key to understanding this duality of forgiving, and yet remembering is this:  When I can remember the event without feeling the pain, I know I have been forgiven. When I can remember the persons involved without feeling the pain, I have forgiven. This forgiveness of others and forgiveness from God are among the most liberating feelings in life.

Forgiveness is setting the prisoner free and knowing the prisoner is me.

Text © 2012 Gebara Education

 

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