Step 3:  Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him.

This is probably the most important decision you will ever make in your life.  So often we hear people talk about accepting Jesus or turning their lives over to Him.  Most don't know exactly what that commitment involves until they are well into it.  Some stay the course.  Many do not.  It was C. S. Lewis who wrote: "Christianity has not been tried and found wanting.  It has been found difficult and, therefore, not tried."

When we crossed that line into addiction, we gave away our will to a substance or behavior designed to make our lives miserable.  Now we must give our will to the care of Jesus Christ who will make our lives worth living again.  We know we need Him.  The point is, do we trust Him?

Neal A. Maxwell, a modern-day apostle, shared the following during the final months of his life battling cancer:

I am going to preach a hard doctrine to you now. The submission of one’s will is really the only uniquely personal thing we have to place on God’s altar. It is a hard doctrine, but it is true. The many other things we give to God, however nice that may be of us, are actually things He has already given us, and He has loaned them to us. But when we begin to submit ourselves by letting our wills be swallowed up in God’s will, then we are really giving something to Him. And that hard doctrine lies at the center of discipleship. . . . It is the only possession we have that we can give, and there is no lessening of our agency as a result. Instead, what we see is a flowering of our talents and more and more surges of joy. Submission to Him is the only form of submission that is completely safe. (Insights from My Life; from a talk given at Brigham Young University, Jan. 12, 1999 - emphasis added) 

Trust is difficult for most people with addictions.  Many come from childhoods in which trust was misplaced or absent and where hurts occurred as a result.  Others have been in marriages and relationships where trust was violated, sometimes over and over again.  When one has been damaged and betrayed, trust is difficult.  Christ understands that and blesses our first steps.  It isn't about what your parents did or wanted from you.  It isn't about what your spouse, family, and even friends think of you or what they did or didn't do or say.  It is about you and your Savior.  It is about trusting Him with your entire life - past, present, and future.*  We may not be able to trust anyone else in our lives, but we can trust Jesus Christ.  *LDS Family Services Addiction Recovery Program, © 2005, p. 13

The problem most of us have in trusting Jesus is that we think that trusting Him means He will give us what we want.  Then, if He doesn't, we assume He is not there and that He doesn't care about us.  We give up, pull back our will, and relapse.  C. S. Lewis explained it this way: "We are bidden to 'put on Christ,' to become like God.  That is, whether we like it or not, God intends to give us what we need, not what we think we want." (The Problem of Pain, 1062, p. 53 - emphasis added) Unless we have truly given our will to Jesus Christ - heart, mind, and spirit - we will not understand what Lewis is trying to teach us.  And we will never truly trust our Savior.

How do you do Step 3?  I'd like to share a few of the same ideas and a couple of new ones:

• Continue to abstain. 
• Continue to pray daily and to meditate.
• Continue to read the scriptures every day and ponder what you read.
• Continue with your journal. 
• Make a conscious decision to trust Jesus Christ and turn your life over to Him, and then tell Him so in prayer.
• Commit to obeying His commandments, even when you don't feel that you want to.
• Trust that He is there, even if it doesn't feel like He is giving us what we want/need right now.  Remember: His understanding of what we need is often very different from our understanding of what we think we need, to which the following prayer attests:

Prayer of an Unknown Confederate Soldier

 

I asked God for strength that I might achieve.
I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey.
I asked for health that I might do greater things.
I was given infirmity that I might do better things.
I asked for riches that I might be happy.
I was given poverty that I might be wise.
I asked for power that I might have the praise of men.
I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God.
I asked for all things that I might enjoy life.
I was given life that I might enjoy all things.
I got nothing that I asked for, but everything I hoped for.
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.
I am, among all men, most richly blessed.



Text © 2012 Gebara Education

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