Step 4, Con't.: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Yesterday, we talked about why it is so important that we are honest with ourselves and with God as we approach step 4.  Today, I'm going to jump the gun on the usual step order and suggest that it is a good idea to include one other person as you begin these next three steps.*  This should be a person you trust implicitly, someone with whom you feel completely safe. S/he can support you in your search. We all have blind spots and this trusted person can help you reach beyond that if you ask it of them.  S/he can help you remember that you are loved and that you are a person of great worth.  S/he can celebrate victories (for many memories will be good ones) and provide a shoulder upon which to cry when the memories evoke painful feelings.

If you have been keeping up with your prayers, scripture study, and meditation, you are probably already experiencing some of these memories.  As you write in your journal, make a special note of those memories that evoke strong feeling.  That strong feeling is a clue that you are circling around an issue that needs to be addressed. Write down your memory of the event along with what you can remember thinking and feeling at the time.  What impact did the event have on you?  What impact did it have on others? [1] Were you able to consider the impact on others at the time or are you just considering it now?  Remember when we talked about thoughts, words, and deeds?  Add feelings to that list. All four are important as you prepare your inventory and later as you process what you have written. 

I'm going to suggest that in addition to writing in your journal in some detail, you also begin a written list.  Take a sheet of paper, preferably lined, and fold it in half lengthwise (kindergarten teachers call this a hot dog bun fold!)  On the left side of the fold, write a brief account of the event.  You may want to number it.  As you process the event, on the right side of the paper, write what you learned from or how you were changed by the event in a positive sense.  This is what my friend BPP calls "harvesting the experience."  Number that, too. so that you can keep the events and the lessons parallel on the page.  Example:

     Event               Lesson
     1. xxx              1. xxxx
                               xxx

     2. xxxxx           2. xxx
         xxxx

     3.                     3.

Write on one side of the paper only.  I will explain more about this in a later step.

In his mature years, Benjamin Franklin examined himself every night before retiring and measured his character strength/weakness for that day against a list of what he considered to be thirteen primary virtues.  He called it his "bold and arduous project of arriving at moral perfection." [2] While I doubt that any of us is going to go that far, you have to admire Franklin's persistence. 

I haven't read Franklin's autobiography, but I certainly hope that his faith in God helped him realize, he wasn't going to get to "moral perfection" on his own!  None of us can be perfect like Christ.  But we can become perfect in Christ through His grace.  All He asks of us in return is a penitent and humble heart.  Step 4 leads us in that direction.

*These next few steps are challenging.  It is very important that you feel you have support from at least one other person while you do them.  This can be a trusted friend, family member, clergy, professional counselor, or 12-Step group.  This is especially important if you feel despondent or suicidal.  Please do not try to be "strong" and do this on your own.  Remember: "I am strong and smart when I ask for help."

[1] Reference: LDS Family Services Addiction Recovery Program Guide, 2005. Intellectual Reserve, Inc.
 [2] Quote: http://www.lds.org/ensign/1971/11/searching-inward?lang=eng  

Text © 2012 Gebara Education
 

Picture of Ben Franklin from www.solisseascorner.com