I will be away from the internet for the weekend, so I am breaking with tradition and posting Saturday's "Pig" chapter today. I will miss you all on Sunday, but look for me again on the Couch on Monday. Have a great weekend!
Grandma
had decided within the first 24 hours of their birth that Baby Doll would
starve to death if we didn’t let Grandma raise her.
The aggressive little Billy would be fine, she said, but little nanny
wouldn’t be. So Grandma adopted her.
I
have to admit that Baby Doll thrived under Grandma’s care. She not only bottle-fed her, she loved
her. The goat slept in the little trailer on a pillow by Grandma's bed. Grandma wiped her little nose (and any place else
that needed wiping for that matter!) Grandma brushed Baby's
coat enthusiastically. When the little horns began to
grow, Grandma measured them with her fingers every day. She was as proud of those horns as if she had
grown them herself! Anyone who dropped
by for a visit had to check Baby Doll’s horn-growing progress as if that was the most important topic in the world.
After
the goat was weaned, Grandma fixed all of her food. In addition to the grain, she concocted
little specialty items. The one I
remember the most involved prunes.
Grandma had decided one day that Baby Doll was constipated, although
with a goat, I’m not sure how she could tell! Constipation was a big topic for Grandma and the root of all evil in her book.
She decided the goat needed prunes. Not just any old prunes, hard and dry from the box, would do; she stewed prunes. She would cook
the prunes in a small amount of water then allow the re-hydrated prunes and
syrup to cool so that they wouldn’t burn the tiny goat’s mouth. Baby Doll loved
them. It was hysterically funny to watch. Baby Doll would stand by the sofa in the
trailer and Grandma would feed her the prunes out of a bowl, one at a
time. The goat would chew them with her
few little teeth until she had stripped all of the fruit from the pit. She then spat the pit into Grandma’s other
hand and opened her mouth for the next prune.
I don’t know if the prunes kept the goat regular, but they surely kept
her happy.
Oh,
and there was one other thing: Grandma
potty trained the goat. I kid you not!
(No pun intended.) She had an old empty
coffee can stashed away somewhere and she trained Baby Doll to use it. When the goat had to go, she would butt
Grandma on the knees. Grandma would hold
the coffee can in the appropriate spot, the goat would do her thing and that
was that. Grandma would take the can to
her little bathroom and flush it away.
If I hadn’t seen it many times, I would not have believed it. I was never sure why she thought she had to
potty train a goat. Maybe that was the
only way she could tell when Baby needed stewed prunes!
~ ~ ~
Baby
Doll lived with Grandma until she grew so large, she became a nuisance. Grandma, of course, would have kept her in
that little trailer forever, but Baby wouldn’t stay inside. Whenever she was out, she wreaked havoc on
the farm. She ate anything in sight,
including the shrubbery and the vegetable garden. She chased the chickens. She antagonized the dog. In short, she had become a real pain in the
patootie! Carmon had already sold her
mother and her brother, having long since given up the hope that he could teach
me how to milk a goat or con the kids into drink goat’s milk. But what could he do with Baby Doll? He knew that there was no way his mother
would stand still for his selling her baby to our barbequing neighbor. 
To this
day, I’m not sure what Carmon did with Baby Doll. I do know, however, what he told Grandma that
he did with her. Sold her. To a petting zoo. At Williams Air Force
Base. Grandma, bless her heart, believed
him.
© Gebara Education, 2001. No portion of this book may be copied by any method without the express written permission of the author
Picture of baby goat from www.baby-animalsphotos.blogspot.com
Picture of prunes from www.pushingfifty.wordpress.com
Picture of goat droppings from www.thehousethatsweatbuilt.wordpress.com
Picture of young adult nanny goat from www.crittercaravanflorida.com
Picture of petting zoo from www.123rf.com
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