Friday, August 31, 2012

Hope Beyond Tomorrow ~ The Human Spirit

SUMMER

Men go forth to wonder at the height of mountains, the huge waves of the sea – and forget to wonder at themselves. St. Augustine 
The human spirit can be most resilient.  I think we all have greater strength than we know – strength that often doesn’t manifest itself until put to the test, like muscle working against weight.  Our first forward-looking joy came when I decided to go to graduate school.  There was not much life insurance money and I learned very quickly that I couldn’t support my family on what I was making without supplementing from that money.  I also quickly calculated that it would be gone in fewer than five years if we continued on that path.  Rather than do that, I decided to use that money for tuition towards a master’s degree that would boost me up four steps on the pay scale.
When school was out that June, we packed ourselves and an incredible amount of stuff into the family car and headed for Provo, Utah, the town where I was born, and to the Brigham Young University, Department of Educational Psychology.  We got off the freeway in Springville just so we could drive around the curve of the old highway 91 past the town cemetery where many of my ancestors lie buried.  Somehow this symbol of death became a symbol of new life.  My heart lifted  as we made the turn onto 9th East and I felt real joy for the first time in over ten months.
We settled into the dorms and a new – if temporary – life.  The kids soon found friends among the other families in Heritage Halls (3 bedroom dorms with kitchens) and the fun was on!  I enrolled Tunk in a program called Fun Festa (yes, that’s Festa not Fiesta) so he’d have a safe place to be while I was in class.  He hiked the Y Mountain Trail, went miniature golfing at Trafalga, and experienced a myriad of other wonderful things.  The older two were on their own more except for week-long experiences at EFY.  We took time on weekends for picnics in Provo Canyon, trips to Park City and Salt Lake, and one trip to Manti for their summer pageant - when we laid out our sleeping bags in the dark and woke up in a pile of horse manure!  We did the Freedom Festival Parade on July 4th and ate hot dogs and cotton candy and candy apples and just felt summer!
Our church didn’t meet until 1:00 P.M., so each Sunday, I left the children sleeping and took long walks through the town where I spent every summer of my childhood.  I walked past my maternal grandmother’s home and the place where my paternal grandparents’ home used to be.  I saw the old Manavu Ward building where my dad went to church and the spot where my great-uncle Jack had his market.  I passed the old BY Academy building where my father went to school and the Farrar Junior High and Provo High Schools where my mother matriculated.  I found a candy shop where my granddad’s barber shop used to be (closed on Sundays) and reminisced of trips walking downtown with my grandmother to Kress’ (no longer there) and the Paramount Theater (which was.)  It was as if I was on a quest about which I knew neither the what nor the why.
Then one day, I was sitting on the main steps that go up the hill to campus when I noticed a spider’s web covered with dew.  It sparkled like diamonds and I gazed at it for quite awhile, asking myself, “What am I looking for?”  The answer came like a blinding light: I was looking for me.
Picture of waves on a rocky shore from www.hdwallpapersfull.com

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