The Family ~ Some Resources.

In summing up our "unit" on problem solving, I'd like to share with you some objectives and guidelines for problem-solving from Dr. H. Stephen Glenn's DCYP [1] program.  I'm also including some ideas from Bill Oliver's P2P Program [2].This is an exercise for parents, so I suggest you get a notebook or paper and pen and answer the following questions:

• Do I both model and teach basic skills for human relationships such as listening and problem-solving?  If not, what can I do to improve in this area?  (Do I remember from P2P that one of my roles as a parent is to model appropriate behavior?) 
• Do I seek to reduce barriers and obstacles to listening and problem-solving? Do I respond in ways that reduce the tension or do I exacerbate the problem by reactions?
• Do I allow for differences in how people perceive the world, including differences inherent is age, culture, maturity, and even gender?  Do I remember that as human beings, we all see the world as we are not as it is?

H. Stephen Glenn

Dr. Glenn discusses his "Dirty Dozen:" communication habits that shut down communication and stifle all efforts at solving problems and conflicts within the family.  These are:

• Operating from a position of power/power struggles
• Giving You-messages instead of I-messages
• Advising before advise is asked for - "Let me tell you what you should do..."
• Lecturing
• Judging/being judgmental (particularly before you've heard all the facts and feelings)
• Giving non-specific praise ("Good job; you're a great kid; nice work, etc.")
• Name-calling
• Interpreting (I am not a mind reader and neither are you.)
• False reassurances ("I know how you feel; it's okay [3]; it's really not a big deal, etc.")
• Ridiculing
• Attacking the person, not the problem
• Avoiding the issue

If you want further information about either Parent-to-Parent or Developing Capable Young People, you can follow the links below or you can query either program on www.Amazon.com.  I went there this morning and found several resources from both programs.  I have studied, trained, and taught both.  Their approaches are different, but compatible.  I highly recommend them both and will be sharing more in the future.

 

[1] Developing Capable Young People; http://www.capabilitiesinc.com/course-material.html

[2] Parent-to Parent: Safe Passages; http://www.thepassagegroup.com/

[3] My youngest son had just started the third grade when Carmon died.  The first day of school, (less than a week after the funeral) he was sitting by a wall at recess and crying.  A teacher on duty came over to him and asked what the problem was.  He told there that his father had just been killed in a car accident.  She said to him, "It's all right."  He looked in her eyes and said, "It's not all right!  I am only 8 years old and I need a dad!" Amazing truths come from children if we'll only listen.

 Text © 2012 Gebara Education

 

Picture of Dr. Glenn from www.positivedicipline.com

P 2 P Logo from Blogspot

CCYP Logo from www.radans.com