Family ~ The Foundation 6 ~ Your Spouse is a Child of God

Always see your spouse as a beloved son or daughter of God and treat him or her accordingly.

 

In Primary, the children sing a song called: “I Am a Child of God."  I don’t think most of us as adults really understand that, either as it refers to us ourselves or to our spouses. It’s important in our marriages that we understand what that really means.

 

I actually learned this lesson during the last two years of Carmon’s life. We had been having some differences.  One afternoon, when I felt most hurt, I spent the afternoon praying.  The majority of my prayer was a lengthy complaint list.  I hadn't learned at that point in my life that you are supposed to confess your own sins, not your spouse's.  After my prayer, I did something unusual for me: I stopped talking and listened.

Without going into great detail, God answered my prayer in an unexpected way.  In my prayer, after listing all my “virtues” (and my perception of Carmon’s lack thereof) I had asked God, “Don’t you love me?” The answer was as clear to my mind as if it had been spoken audibly: 

“Yes. You are my daughter and I love you;

but he is my son and I love him, too.”

Needless to say, I experienced a major paradigm shift that day and I walked home a changed person. Thereafter, I could not look at my husband without seeing him as God’s son. My whole attitude changed. I responded differently. I behaved differently. It wasn’t as if I made some huge effort to do so; it was because I couldn’t do anything less.  Trust me: it was not a sacrifice.

 

About six months after this experience, Carmon said to me one day, “You’ve changed. I don’t know what it is, but I like it.” Then something interesting happened: from that point on, he began to change, too.  It’s really hard to argue when one person simply isn’t arguing anymore. During that last year or two before he died, he actually became, to a large degree, the person he was capable of being.  He wasn’t perfect, but then, neither was I. Those last couple of years of his life produced some of my happiest memories. 

Twenty -one years later, when I met Richard, I saw him as a son of God from the first day and treated him accordingly. He responded in kind. I was a much better wife to him than I was to Carmon because I had been just learning how to be a wife when Carmon died. I suspect that Richard was probably a better husband to me than he had been to his late wife for similar reasons. You grow older and hopefully wiser, and you realize that fighting over things just isn’t worth the effort!   It is another life lesson I wish I had learned sooner.

If you want a good relationship with anyone, especially with your spouse, you need to remember those words as I remember them: "He is my son and I love him, too."  How can I be so petty as to refuse to love a person who is a literal child of God?  How presumptuous of me.

 

In his book, Return from Tomorrow, Dr. George H. Richie wrote that he didn't feel at peace with his life until he began to see the face of the Savior in the people that he met.  I believe we all have the Light of Christ.  It is just more difficult to see it in some folks than in others.  The interesting thing is that those who need us to see that light in them the most are often the ones in whom it is most difficult to find.  So don't quit looking with the easy ones!

Remember what Corrie ten Boom said when she told us that Jesus Christ can give us the commandment to love and He can give us the love itself. (The Hiding Place)  I challenge each of us to look at the people dearest to us and say in our hearts, "He (or she) is a literal child of God."  If you can't feel it, do the exercise anyway and ask the Savior to open your eyes for you.  I can promise you that He will.

Text © 2012 Gebara Education

 

Picture of Child of God sampler from www.sodahead.com

Picture of husband and wife talking from www.familyfaceministries.com

Picture of the Lifht Jesus Christ from www.thegodguy.wordpress.com