Family ~ The Foundation 1 ~ Look Beyond the Stature to the Heart

If the cornerstone to a healthy family is the individual's personal relationship with Jesus Christ, then the foundation of the family is the relationship between the father and the mother: the marriage.  As I talk about marriage during the next two weeks, please don't think that I am in any way denigrating the quality of parenting done by single parents.  As those of you who followed A Pig in the Kitchen last summer will remember, my first husband, Carmon, died quite young in an automobile accident.  I spent the next twenty years of my life as a single mother.  I know the burdens and the joys as well as anyone.  But sometimes parents get so caught up with the children that they neglect that foundational relationship with their spouse.  That is what I want to discuss.

After almost twenty-two years as a widow, I met and married a wonderful man.  Richard and I had fewer than four years together, before cancer took his life, but they were four very happy years for both of us.  Just before he died, he told me that he thought the Lord had brought me to him so that he could learn how to be married.  In fact, he and I wrote a letter to our children before his death, teaching them the things we had learned about marriage.  I will be quoting quite heavily from that letter.  I am confident that Richard wouldn't mind.

Therefore, here is the first of our Eight Lessons in Life, Love, and Marriage.  It is particularly designed for those who are yet single and contemplating marriage:

God is the best matchmaker

Part of the reason things worked out so well for Richard and me was that, while we each put the Lord first in our lives personally, we also put the Lord into the equation of our marriage.  We began praying together by our second date and we also prayed individually, each asking the Lord if a marriage between us would be His will.  We’ve both recognized that in this life, choosing a companion based primarily on physical appearance or “chemistry” isn’t the best route to take.  God told the prophet, Samuel: “But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; . . .  for the Lord seeth not as a man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7)

 
A blessing I had received when I was in high school told me that, when I was ready for marriage, I should prayerfully approach selecting my life's companion. I was further promised that if I would ask, in faith, the Lord would let me know the person best suited for my happiness.  When Richard walked up my driveway that morning and introduced himself to me (being towed by his dog whom he was walking), I would not have picked him to be that person based solely on first impressions.  It was only after I’d spent time with him and had begun to appreciate his wit and wisdom that I began to ask God if this relationship could be more than just casual friends.  All I can tell you is that, after four years together, I loved him more the day he died than I did the day I married him.  I am so grateful that I heeded that blessing I received at age 16 and asked the Lord in faith. God did a much better job of picking a companion for me than I could have done.  In almost 22 years as a widow, I’d met a lot of frogs, but only one prince.

Text © 2012 Gebara Education

Picture of Christ as the cornerstone from www.naturallifemom

Picture of daisy from Facebooik