Family ~ Foundation 8 ~ Joy Comes in the Little Things



This brings me full-circle of the eight lessons on life, love, and marriage.  Here  are the first seven in review:

 

1. God is the best matchmaker. Prayerfully ask Him to guide you.

2. Love is not a feeling you fall into.It is a conscious choice.

3. Marriage is a covenant, not merely a contract. Make the Savior the third party in your covenant marriage.

4. Covenant marriage changes both partners for the better and the resulting whole is greater than the sum total of the two parts.

5. Marriage is not a contest. There is no room for competition. Realize that you will grow and feel happier when you support your spouse’s growth and happiness.

6. Always see your spouse as a beloved son or daughter of God and treat him or her accordingly.

7. Recognize that the Savior knows your potential and your spouse’s potential better than either of you knows your own or your spouses potential. Listen to the Spirit and trust him.

 

I think people experience problems in their marriages when they try to run ahead of God.  I know, because I did just that for too many years.  Here's what we do:

1. We don't asks God's affirmation before entering into our marriages.  We get caught up in the moment and in what we want rather than what God wants and what we need.
2. We think we have "fallen in love" when what we feel is usually a strong physical attraction.  There may be other qualities present, but - let's face it, the "champagne bubbles in my blood" feels good!  Physiologically speaking, those feelings of falling in love disappear after about twelve to eighteen months. (It may come back from time to time, but usually not with that first months' intensity.)  If we are wise, during those honey-months, we will work on the other aspects of the relationship, like being friends.  Then when the rose colored glasses fall away, we will be expecting it.  In fact, it's only when this first blush of physical love is gone that we can begin to experience the real love that keeps marriages together and happy.  If not, we will start running for greener pastures so that we can "fall in love" again with somebody else.
3. Our biggest mistake is leaving Jesus Christ out of our marriages.  With Him, we can withstand anything; without Him, we can withstand little.
4. Marriage partners should try to bring out the best in each other.  When they don't, trouble is sure to follow.
5. Too many couples compete and fight and argue and want to make sure they are getting their share.  Sad.
6. If you don't see each other as children of God with the potential for a Godly relationship, they you will always wonder how much better it could have been.
7. People who sell their spouse short often sell themselves short as well.  Demeaning your spouse demeans you.  These folks don't give each other room to reach for their stars.
   

And that brings me to the final lesson:

 

8. Joy comes in little, everyday miracles. By recognizing with gratitude the countless small miracles in your life, it is possible to experience joy in the most poignant and painful circumstances.

This is a lesson I learned many times in my life, but I'll share only one experience to illustrate.  When Richard first became ill, we both wanted him to live at any cost.  We prayed for a big miracle.  It soon became apparent that a big miracle was not in God’s plan for us.  Rather than becoming bitter or angry with God, I started counting the small miracles.  They came and my cup of joy over-flowed.  One current source of joy is being able to share these thoughts and feelings with you.  Thank you for being a willing reader and look for joy in the little things.

 

Text © 2012 Gebara Education

Picture of joy from www.shadesofgrace.org