Roads can lead many places. If you think of communication as a road, the destination is understanding. Why is it so few of us ever truly get there? Quite often it is because we have habits in communicating that get in the way. These are frequently patterns we have had since childhood. We may not even recognize that we are doing one or more of these things unless someone else points them out and we have the personal honestly to recognize and change them.- Insults and put downs - even those that are subtle or masked as "jokes"
- Teasing
- Sarcasm
- Interrupting
- Name calling
- Blaming
- Accusing
- Over-generalization (you always, never, everyone else, nobody, etc.)
- Stating opinions as if they were facts (think back to the recent campaign!)
- Being positive
- Making sure it is a good time for both of you to talk [1]
- Focusing on the situation or the problem, not on the other person's personality or perceived faults
- Working towards consensus
- Being willing to "agree to disagree" on certain issues, when both parties feel understood, leaving the relationship in tact
Arriving at a mutual understanding is a goal worth the effort. Seek to avoid the communication roadblocks, and you are halfway there.[1] You should not plan a serious conversation if either party is angry, preoccupied, distracted, or busy. You also should not try to talk seriously to anyone who is intoxicated or under the influence of any mind-altering substance.
Text © 2012 Gebara
Education
Picture of country road from www.freebigpictures.com
Picture of Understanding from www.yaymicro.com
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