The Family ~ A Sacred Duty

Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations. [1]

 

Most parents recognize that they must take care of the physical well being of their child - food, clothing, shelter.  Many recognize that they must take care of the intellectual well being of their child as well - education and training. Some parents also recognize that they must take care of the emotional and spiritual well being of their child.  I wish more did the latter as well as the former.  The Lord has revealed in these last days the need for parents to teach their children about God in a world with :so many different choices; so many different voices."[2]  He said:

 

And again, inasmuch as parents have children .  .  .  that teach them not to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands .  .  .   the sin be upon the heads of the parents.  .  .  .  And they shall also teach their children to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord. (D & C 68: 25, 28)

 

Bill Oliver, former director of one of the nation's largest adolescent drug-abuse treatment centers, taught that parents have a vital role in preparing their children for a world full of temptations, violence, and dwindling values.  He states that children fall away when they 1) don't know what is expected of them; 2) don't know how to meet those expectations; and 3) someone or something interferes with their desire to meet the expectations.  In the program, Parent-to-Parent: Safe Passages,[3] Oliver outlined four important roles for parents:

• Model ~ Parents model for their children in everything they say and do.  You've heard the old saying, "Do as I say and not as I do?"  That doesn't work!  Parents must clearly teach the family values and clearly outline their expectations for their children and then they must live those values consistently.  A family without a clearly stated and modeled value system is not an immoral family: it is an amoral family.
• Mentor ~  Each child is a unique and separate individual from the moment of conception.  They bring with them to this earth personality traits, talents, and challenges.  It is the parent's job to guide each child to develop his or her own individual potential. Don't ever compare one child to another.  If a child is showing a trait you don't like, try re-framing it for the child and for yourself.  For example: instead of calling your child stingy, help re-frame that into thrifty and train the child in the positive development of that trait.  Children must see a future in which they can succeed in order for them to succeed. Talk with your children, not to them, and listen, listen, listen.
• Monitor ~ It is the parent's role to be consciously present in each child's life.  You are to oversee the larger picture to make sure that nothing gets in the way of your child's reaching his or her potential.  Children need consistent supervision.  If you break word supervision into two root words, it becomes super vision.  Children - even teenagers - often see only the immediate moment.  You, as the parent, can see the long term consequences.  We will talk more later about teaching children to understand consequences.
• Motivator ~  You are your child's cheering section, not with false or hollow praise, but with sincere encouragement.  Tell your child what you saw (I noticed you helping your little brother pick up his blocks.)  Give the action a value name (That was a very helpful thing for you to do.) Describe how you felt (I feel really warm inside when I see you helping your brother.  When you help your brother, you are also helping me.)  Ask how the child felt. (How do you feel when you do helpful things?)  Don't label the child - even with a good  label.  Label the behavior. 

As you prayerfully approach the task of raising Godly children in a godless world, remember the roles described by the 4 M's - Be a Model, Mentor, Monitor, and Motivator.

 

And he did exhort them then with all the feeling of a tender parent, that they would hearken to his words, that . . . the Lord would be merciful to them . . .  (1 Nephi 8:37)

 

[1] The Family: A Proclamation to the World, Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

[2] We Cannot Find Our Way/Three Kings from The Forgotten Carols by Michael McLean

[3] Parent Resources in Drug Education (PRIDE), Atlanta, GA

 

Text © 2012 Gebara Education

 

Picture of father with child from www.peculiarmagazine.com

Picture of mother reading Bible with child from www.claygentry.com